Chasing Tail
While it has been almost six months since I split up with my wife I still have not been able to bring myself to even think about dating anyone. It is not that I dont find anyone attractive or that I don’t have needs that want to be taken care of. Far from it. Some may argue it is too soon but I can easily counter that by saying neither my wife nor I were even in the marriage for the last year. Looking back on it I think it is fair to say the last year of our marriage was about saying goodbye rather then bothering to try and make it work so
What keeps me grounded and out of the dating pool is my son who really needs my full attention right now. This has been a great time for us to bond and learn from each other and I hope when he grows up he doesn’t repeat all my mistakes.
One of the biggest life lessons, I have learned over the years is not to chase anyone. Now that doesn’t mean that you do not go after a relationship with one else or you simply wait for them to come to you. What it means is only an immature person chases after another, while a mature person pursues. It is like this in business and it is like this in relationships and if you can tie them together you will be successful.
When it comes to either clients or woman the more a man chases the less interested the other party becomes. They end up wanting to run away and generally do so as fast as they can. To chase a woman means to be at her beckoned call and to really throw yourself at them even if that person doesn’t even want you. What the chaser doesn’t realize is we as humans get rather bored when we realize we can easily have something or someone. Let’s face facts guys this is why the ladies like the bad boy and why they don’t like pathetic pushovers. When you chase a person you make them the center of your universe and let the other person be responsible for your happiness. It means you are looking for external validation and you beg for things like a hug, a text goodnight or even sex. You also find yourself asking for permission and being so caught up with the fact that someone likes you that you overlook the obvious and glaring red flags. Ah yes the red flags. That’s another story for another day.
When the day comes, and I hope it does, that I begin to date I will know what I want and I will ensure that I am open and honest with myself about those wants. I will know what I stand and be open with my boundaries. I will make sure “no” is in my vocabulary and I will make myself the center of my own universe. No this is not about being selfish but rather about taking care of me first so that I may be able to take better care of others. It’s about me being responsible for my own happiness. Communicate your needs and articulate where you want to be. This is how a mature person thinks and this is the mindset of a person that is pursuing and not chasing. A teenager chases “tail” while a man pursues a woman. Are you listening son?
